I'm listening to Girl Talk right now, so I'm going to call this post "sampling" rather than plagiarism...

"Everything is more complicated than you think. You only see a tenth of what is true. There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make. You can destroy your life every time you choose. But maybe you won't know for twenty years. And you may never ever trace it to its source. And you only get one chance to play it out. Just try and figure out your own divorce... And they say there's no fate, but there is, it's what you create. And even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are only here for a fraction of a fraction of a second. Most of your time is spent being dead, or not yet born. But while alive, you wait in vain wasting years for a phone call or a letter or a look from someone or something to make it all right, but it never comes. Or it seems to, but it doesn't really. So you spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope that something good will come along, something to make you feel connected, something to make you feel cherished, something to make you feel loved. And the truth is is, I feel so angry! And the truth is, I feel so fucking sad! And the truth is, I've felt so fucking hurt for so fucking long and for just as long, I've been pretending I'm okay, just to get along! I don't know why. Maybe because...no one wants to hear about my misery...because they have their own. Well, fuck everybody. Amen."

I could add to this but really there is nothing to add. It is beautiful and real and the most haunting part of "Synecdoche, New York", a movie I am still (weeks later) recovering from and discussing and thinking about. It is a movie that needs to be properly digested. Like an anaconda eating a hippo. The hippo is too big for the anaconda to eat, and the anaconda knows this. But it tries anyway. It may have to spit it back up and start all over again, and the anaconda might fail to digest the hippo for a second time. The hippo may never be fully digested.

Charlie Kaufman Articulates Things Like Nobody's Business

I just read this interview with Charlie Kaufman (he's a screenwriter, you guys...look it up) and, wow. I mean, I understand he is a professional writer, and I'm just some schmuck who can't write for the life of her, but he just...wow.

Charlie Kaufman's thoughts : me :: I can not articulate this analogy. Kaufman would be much better at this sort of thing.

I can't even write an adequate analogy. Perhaps an equation would be better:

Charlie Kaufman's thoughts > 552(x + y), where x = anything I have ever thought, ever and y = all the happiness in the world

Okay, so perhaps that's overstating and exaggerating things. I just really love the way he puts things. He'll say things like "It's a problem and it's not a problem.", "Yes and no.", and "Sometimes and sometimes not." when first responding to the interviewer's questions which might seem repetitive and contradictory, but is also the perfect way to encapsulate what he says in the rest of his response. The way that he goes about writing is something I aspire to, and I'm not even a writer. His search for truth and honesty in writing no matter what is something I really admire. His approach seems more like an approach to life more than it is strictly an approach to writing, and that's what I admire about it. He's not trying to follow a formula or a plan. He's trying to put forth a more accurate version of life in his writing, one that is confusing and not laid out beforehand and encompasses all of our past, present, and future experiences. I'm very much looking forward to seeing Synecdoche, New York (which, coincidentally, I've just learned how to say...si-nek-duh-kee. I think that's right).

In other news, I got tickets to see of Montreal in Denver next month, which I'm really excited about. Of Montreal is on a short list of bands I have made a pact to see if the opportunity arises, so I'm happy I get to see them. I haven't listened to their new album, Skeletal Lamping in full yet, but I'm working my way through it as of this writing, and I like the craziness that I hear so far. Speaking of hearing craziness, I have been listening to ridiculous amounts of The Bugle, an "audio newspaper for a visual world". It's hilarious and British and I can not recommend it enough. (subscribe via iTunes here)

I'm also working diligently on my Halloween costume, which is coming together better than I could have expected. I have the tentacles sewed and am halfway through the dragon wings. I'll probably post something more detailed about how I made it on here in the future. So you all have that to look forward to.