Hot Pocket Sammich, or the Quest to Eat Hot Pockets (a story in pictures)

Previously on Blog, I came up with a plan to make Hot Pockets edible (or perhaps more disgusting, I wasn't quite sure). What follows is the carrying out of said plan.

Braden and I set out to buy the materials for the Hot Pocket Sammich.

A sign? Or just the microwave telling us the Hot Pockets are done cooking.

Still frozen on the inside.

Creating the Sammich. I didn't know what would be okay to put in the middle of the sandwich so I decided boring was a safe bet and put some salami. As soon as we opened the package of salami, however, we knew something was up. It smelled...of queefs (Is that okay to say on a blog? There is no other word.)

Results: I found the salami to make the Hot Pocket more edible. Not good by any stretch of the imagination, but edible. As soon as I tried to eat the Hot Pocket by itself, I lost my appetite. There were lumpy rubbery things inside, claiming to be cheese. We also tried it with balsamic vinegar, which was pretty good.

A warning to all in my house not to smell the salami.

The plate smiles back at us.

Grade: C- (edible)

Update: last night I tried round two with Mikhail. I made a Hot Pocketurger, with a buffalo burger and mushrooms between cheese pizza Hot Pockets. Grade: C (slightly more edible than the Sammich).

idea of the century probably

I was just looking at this wonderful site that I found on Vvinni's blog (he is great. he is good. oh yes oh dear oh my.) and I came up with what might be the single most terrifying and also amazing idea in the long history of things you should make in your toaster but instead make in your microwave: The Hot Pocket Sammich. It is not just an Hot Pocket (which is bad enough by itself) but is instead two Hot Pockets with a sandwich in the middle. Like a normal sandwich but substitute bread for awful. I am going to create this monstrosity (tomorrow maybe?) and report back in full (disgusting) detail. With (disgusting) photos. A variance on The Hot Pocket Sammich is the Hot Pocketurger, a hamburger with Hot Pocket buns. This sounds delicious to my ears already. If the Sammich proves vaguely edible, I may try this.