Who loves theatre? (Braden) Who loves musicals? (perverts) Who wants to waste far too much time watching this video of some people who made a Harry Potter musical?! No one? Okay. Just me then, I guess. See you in two hours, stupid people who don't want to watch this...
I hope you all have warm snuggly days with popkins and kittens and marshmellows and sunshine and snow and all other sorts of nice things!
I love each and every one of you! (Except if you are Sara because you said many mean things about me last night. But I guess I did about you too, so I take that back, I love you most of all. But you still had sex with Satan, I'm not going back on that one.)
Today two wonderful things arrived in the mail for me: The Tales of Beedle the Bard, and 'We Are Wizards'. I read and watched and read and then I think I went to the bathroom and ate some potatoes and bought some shit.
The book was okay. I don't know. I liked it, but the magic has ceased to work for me. I need to find some new magic. It is really fucking pretty though. I got the fucking expensive version because fuck you. I will probably used the hollowed out husk of the book the actual book came in to store cats or some shit. Cats and whiskey.
The movie was alright I guess too. Most parts were vaguely boring because I wasn't really into what they were saying at all. There was, of course, one exception. That exception being Brad Neely, golden god of the funny. My mom was peeking over the couch at the movie (for some reason, I don't know. She is a couch peeker) and laughing her head off. We are going to be Neely groupies, my mom and me. I never want him to actually read the books. It is much much better this way. The best part about Wizard People, Dear Reader is how much better he makes the story by being so horribly wrong about everything.
"Every Harry Potter fan should record a commentary for Harry Potter two, which would be really easy 'cause that movie is really good. [laughs uncontrolably]"
Before he made Wizard People, Neely was also in these really shitty infomercials. In one he plays a wheelchair man who is obsessed with this chick's earwax. In an outtake from the documentary, he talks about her theories about earwax:
"There are little hands in there making pancakes and tossing it out"
"Fucking candle ears."
In another one of the outtakes he goes to the zoo and berates all the animals. He is the best thing to happen to things since the beginning of stuff.
"That's like a fashion possum. Hangin' out in some kind of ewok village."
(looking at a monkey): "This is what happens if like a guy has sex with a cat."
There is a commentary track of just Brad Neely, which I am going to watch right now. It is going to be pure gold. Gold with turds in it.
Fort Collins, CO - Thousands of Democrats created mass panic Sunday at an Obama rally for reasons that have nothing to do with McCain's claim earlier that morning on NBC's "Meet the Press" that Obama will "thrust into...Americans right now...whether...[t]hey want...it...or...not".
Instead, Democrats packing the Oval at Colorado State University became violent and extremely angry when, upon hearing word that a second trailer for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince had recently leaked on the Internet, volunteers and security personnel informed the "Potter" enthusiasts by loud speaker they could not leave the venue due to "security reasons".
After the announcement was made, the audience fired back at their captors, yelling such things as "terrorist" and "Voldemort is behind this, mark my words!"
An angry crowd of Democratic Potter fans disrupts an otherwise dull Obama rally, throwing beach balls and people about in anger.
Harold Haglethorpe was one such rabble-rouser. "I find it absolutely disrespectful and elitist of the Obama campaign to force a crowd to stay here when they know we'd much rather be at home, in the comfort of our living rooms catching a much needed glimpse at our favorite boy wizard's next adventures. Before today, I thought Voldemort was firmly on the Republicans' side, but after this, I can no longer say that with confidence."
Other attendees were similarly enraged at the Obama campaign.
Lifelong Democrat Carole Machala started a petition which aimed to "let the public know of the obvious conspiracy taking place between the WB and the DNC". "First they move our precious movie back nine whole months, and now this? I can't even begin to imagine what they have in store for us..."
Several others took a more active approach and were seen running through the crowd of about 45,000 people trying to hex security officers and police.
Democratic hopeful Betsy Markey attempted to take the stage but was drowned out by boos and a torrent of Obama buttons tossed at her by audience members. No others attempted addressing the crowd after Markey as supporters tore down the podium in anger shortly after Markey was escorted off by security.
The Obama campaign was unavailable for comment, though at the time a field organizer was heard saying "This is it, it's all over folks. The dream is [expletive] lost. [Expletive]."
Political advisers on both sides say this could be the momentum breaker McCain needed in the days leading up to the election. Polls across the nation are already showing significant dents in the Obama lead.
As of this writing, the angry crowd had broken out of the Oval and started making its way across America, picking up members as it went. There is yet no word on whether any of the supporters have seen the trailer yet. In the words of one onlooker, "God help us if they do."
New International trailer for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
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