Thursday, February 26, 2009

We’re all convinced sooner or later

Lost, you guys! I love each episode more than the one that preceded it. (Or something like that.) I would post all sorts of half thought out theories about how Jack and Lapidus are totally going to get it on because of all the Biblical parallels, but I have a much more important point to address: I love Ben. Love him so much. Each episode just confirms this, no matter what he does. Strangle Locke? I love you! Try to murder Penny (probably)? I love you even more! No matter what terrible, murderous, mercurial, Keamy-stabbing, father-killing, lying-just-for-the-sake-of-lying, thing Ben does, I'm with him 100%. In fact, the more arguably evil Benjamin Linus is, the more I love him. Because I know that underneath the horrible, slimy, conniving exterior is, well, pretty much the same thing.

“How can you be reading?” “My mother taught me.”

Monday, February 23, 2009


In the struggle to be content with one's life, one may never stop to think if one's life is worthy of contentedness to begin with. Happiness is fine and all, but gods it is boring. Quick, someone kick me in head. Anything to make something happen in there.

Thursday, February 19, 2009


This is adorable. Dance, boy, dance!

BOOMBOX from Ely Kim on Vimeo.

Also, those are all very good songs. I want a mixtape of them.

Hot Pocket Sammich, or the Quest to Eat Hot Pockets (a story in pictures)

Previously on Blog, I came up with a plan to make Hot Pockets edible (or perhaps more disgusting, I wasn't quite sure). What follows is the carrying out of said plan.

Braden and I set out to buy the materials for the Hot Pocket Sammich.

A sign? Or just the microwave telling us the Hot Pockets are done cooking.

Still frozen on the inside.

Creating the Sammich. I didn't know what would be okay to put in the middle of the sandwich so I decided boring was a safe bet and put some salami. As soon as we opened the package of salami, however, we knew something was up. It smelled...of queefs (Is that okay to say on a blog? There is no other word.)

Results: I found the salami to make the Hot Pocket more edible. Not good by any stretch of the imagination, but edible. As soon as I tried to eat the Hot Pocket by itself, I lost my appetite. There were lumpy rubbery things inside, claiming to be cheese. We also tried it with balsamic vinegar, which was pretty good.

A warning to all in my house not to smell the salami.

The plate smiles back at us.

Grade: C- (edible)

Update: last night I tried round two with Mikhail. I made a Hot Pocketurger, with a buffalo burger and mushrooms between cheese pizza Hot Pockets. Grade: C (slightly more edible than the Sammich).

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Obligatory Valentine's Day Post

I just saw this on Postsecret and thought it perfectly described how I feel whenever I'm presented with a romantic situation. Oh fuck, indeed. This is not a mopey lovesick post. My brain isn't like that now. I had such a blast with friends last night. They are still sleeping off what is probably a hangover (I will find out soon enough I hope, unless they are dead) in my room. So take that Valentine's Day! I think you're great after all.

I ate that Hot Pocket Sammich by the way. Update to come.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

idea of the century probably

I was just looking at this wonderful site that I found on Vvinni's blog (he is great. he is good. oh yes oh dear oh my.) and I came up with what might be the single most terrifying and also amazing idea in the long history of things you should make in your toaster but instead make in your microwave: The Hot Pocket Sammich. It is not just an Hot Pocket (which is bad enough by itself) but is instead two Hot Pockets with a sandwich in the middle. Like a normal sandwich but substitute bread for awful. I am going to create this monstrosity (tomorrow maybe?) and report back in full (disgusting) detail. With (disgusting) photos. A variance on The Hot Pocket Sammich is the Hot Pocketurger, a hamburger with Hot Pocket buns. This sounds delicious to my ears already. If the Sammich proves vaguely edible, I may try this.

Deeze Taxes! Deeze Minneapolises!

I just spent all of 15 minutes doing my taxes. And I am getting bailout levels of money back. Billions of dollars, to be exact. I don't know what everyone is complaining about all of the time, with deeze tax returns. Stop complaining, dummies!

I also bought my tickets to visit my dearest Pip in Minneapolis this morning! Here are pictures I found on Flickr of things in Minneapolis I want to see (they are in order from pretty excited to extremely excited):

(I spent a whole several minutes wondering if I had a picture with both of you in it and it is lucky I found one, so you'll have to deal with this crappy one. Deal with it okay!)

Saturday, February 7, 2009


Today was a complete shitstorm. There was literally a storm made of shit at work today. A hurricane of crap. A tornado of poo with a chance of scattered pee showers. People get angry when they don't have places to put their feces. If today had a face, that face would have a dirty sanchez. I'm going to bed. See you at poo 'o' clock. (I hate myself so much for that. I cry your pardon, world.)

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Long Time No Update

Make that even longer time, no update. It is beautiful out and I would much rather be reading The Dark Tower in my backyard and this is my second time waking up today and this time I promise to wake up for more time than it takes to watch Lost (although that is very important). Perhaps I will update soon with some of the new and very happy and exciting things that I have been feeling and discovering (and no, not that SPOILER ALERT Jin is alive (!!! - yes, parentheses inside of parentheses, I know. Also, I am very serious about spoiler alerts, apparently.) /SPOILER ALERT although yes, that is very happy). Also, there will maybe be some word of the novel Braden and I have decided to write. It is brilliant and inspired and ohhhh yessssssss.